Slipping into Friday with a Silly Joke

Someone told me the following joke years ago and it still makes me giggle.  I don’t generally remember jokes, even five minutes later, or I mess up the telling of the joke and give away the punch line.

Since I edit my own blog, this time I’ll get it right. And since you are reading this joke, I’ll never know if you are rolling your eyes, or suppressing a soft groan.

In my mind, you’ve just let out a deep belly laugh, and now have tears running down your cheeks while you call to someone in the other room to come hear this hilarious joke.

Perhaps I should have stopped before that last paragraph.  Now you really have your hopes up. I’m nothing if not optimistic.

A man hears a knock at his door, but upon answering doesn’t find anyone there.

He closes the door, but again hears a knock.

The second time he opens the door, looks down and sees a garden snail on his front porch.

He bends down, hurls the snail across the yard and again closes the door.

Flash forward: Ten Years Later

The same man hears a knock at his door and upon answering it, he sees the same snail on his front porch.

The snail looks up at him and says, “What the hell was that about?”

snail on porch

I hope you’re sliding into a happy Friday.

 

Snails and Scale: A Winning Combination?

No!

Scale and Snail

Scale to the left, snail to the right,

No, I’m pretty sure it’s not a winning combination.  For now, however, it’s what we’ve got.  Ugh.

We had a major infestation last summer, with little to do for it while the tree was blooming. I pruned close to 30% of the branches, removing the worst of the infestation. Then, we waited.

Early this year, while the tree was dormant, I worked at removing all traces of the pest.  Once I’d scraped away the hard scale, I took a bucket of warm soapy water, and wiped down every single branch, removing the black, sooty scale as well.  I checked the tree the following day, removing what I’d missed.

Scale Removal

They’re back!  The infestation isn’t *as* bad, but it’s back nonetheless.

The interesting turn of events is the snails.  I counted six or seven of them as I inspected the tree.  I was momentarily hopeful.  Could it be that this garden pest would actually snack on the scale?

Snail on a Tulip Magnolia

That was a long climb to slime a flower

Scale encrusted branch

Scale encrusted branch

Snail on a branch

Snail making tracks

Snail at apex of tree

Y do you ask?

DSC_0063

Nope!  My research tells me they eat fruit, leaves, even paper, but not scale.  Boo!

If you’re looking for pet snails, these are free for the asking. Time to move on to plan C.

Snail Hotel: Hole in One

snail eating pumpkin

Belly up to the bar

A clever and voracious garden snail found a soft spot in one of our pumpkins.  He/she went on a pumpkin bender a few nights ago, slurping an impressive, though disappointing hole in one…pumpkin that is.

Now that they’ve breached the shell , decay will quickly set in. Add to that our spiking temperatures (yet again in the eighties!) and we’ll have a sloppy, slushy, pumpkin mess before week’s end. Taking inspiration from my friend Sheila, I converted the lost pumpkin into a snail hotel. I love my Sharpie’s! I love my pumpkins too, but the damage is done. In addition to counting down to Halloween, I’ll now be counting the days till the Snail Hotel is officially condemned.

pumpkin snail hotel

You can check in any time you like…

snail hotel closeup

Snail Hotel: Mollusks Welcome

Stay tuned!

Halloween Countdown

pirate pumpkin

Pirate Pumpkin
Shiver me Pumpkin Ribs