garden puns

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Punny Garden: The Sequel

Gardenlocks

Gardenlocks

This time last year, I published a post called Punny Garden: Garden Jokes and Puns.  It proved to be one of my most popular. It continues to get hits most days.  People like to smile, laugh or guffaw.  Even the groaners are fun.

Without further ado, I give you Punny Garden: The Sequel.  Thank you, Google, and all the individual contributors, for making this possible.

One-liners:

  • When kissing flowers, tulips are better than one.
  • Organic farmers till it like it is.
  • Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
  • I once heard that the most popular thing to download on the internet is corn.

Books and Theater:

  • My Fair Lilac
  • Hello, Dahlia
  • Crocus Pocus
  • Bird of Paradise Lost
  • A Midsummer Nightshade’s Dream
  • The Garden of Weedin’

Puns:

King Tut’s favorite flower? Chrysanthemums

Thanks to reader Marcella Rouseau of For Your Good Health. Marcella won a pun contest at Organic Gardening and Farming with these:

  • Nevergreen by Barbra Drysand
  • Little Fruit Coup by the Peachboys

For more laughs, be sure to check out David Hobson’s Garden Humour

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Punny Garden: Garden Jokes and Puns

Plastic Surgery Gone Bad

I found a gardening pun on Twitter today and thought it would be fun to share. I’ve compiled a few more, and welcome any additional puns or quips in the comments section below. Here’s hoping they tickle your green thumb.

A Nod to Theater:

Compostaphile and Compostaphobe — To rot or not to rot . . . David Hobson’s Garden Humour

“I should love to perform “There Are Fairies in the Bottom of My Garden” (Bea Lillie’s signature song), but I don’t dare. It might come out “There Are Fairies in the Garden of My Bottom.” – Noel Coward from Musicals101

One-liners:

What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming. The Deep Middle

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi. Organic Universe

My wife’s a water sign. I’m an earth sign. Together we make mud.  – Rodney Dangerfield from Garden Digest

Puns:

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology. Twitter

My wife works over-thyme in her herb garden before she decides it is time to cummin.
Don’t expect a bonsai tree to grow the miniature planting it.
I will cut the grass only when I get mowtivated.
The research assistant couldn’t experiment with plants because he hadn’t botany.
Old gardeners never die they just vegetate.
Gardeners like to plant their feet firmly.
If you’re a gardener you might call yourself a ‘plant manager’.
from David Hobson’s Garden

The real meaning of plant catalog terminology:

“A favorite of birds” means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clothes lines.
“Grows more beautiful each year” means “Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.”
“Zone 5 with protection” is a variation on the phrase “Russian roulette.”
“May require support” means your daughter’s engineering degree will finally pay off.
“Moisture-loving” plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.
“Carefree” refers more to the plant’s attitude than to your workload.
“Vigorous” is code for “has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world.”
“Grandma’s Favorite” — until she discovered free-flowering, disease-resistant hybrids.  Garden Digest