My sister had her final visit with Queen B on Sunday. Her sweet kitty had been declining for some time, with last week’s visit to our vet confirming mild anemia, dilute urine, and cancer. Letting the kitty suffer was never an option, but facing those final decisions isn’t easy.
Initially, Sharon wanted to be with Queen B when she passed. It proved too much for her, so she asked me if I would be there and of course I said yes.
Queen B was humanely euthanized this morning at the Cat Hospital, our long-time vet. I kept a warm hand on her side as she slipped away, sobbing uncontrollably before I could pull myself together enough to leave the room. I wrapped her frail body in the warm, soft blanket they provided, knowing it no longer mattered but compelled to do so just the same.
Sharon has lost so much to the ravages of MS. Saying goodbye to Queen B has been another blow.
We will cherish the good memories, and our tears will dry, but for now, our hearts ache with the heavy sadness of seeing out this tiny cat’s gentle soul.
My sister’s progressing MS has created a need for adaptive clothing, however, the adaptive clothing available online, while functional, lacks style. Choices are limited, and most features skew toward a caregiver dressing the individual.
Sharon visits every Sunday via Paratransit so she can spend time with her cat, Queen B. Kitty is now in our care.
My sister wants to dress herself to the best of her ability. Maintaining independence when you’ve lost so much is critical to one’s mental health. Further, her care home wants to charge an additional $500 monthly for dressing assistance. We’re both appalled.
Due to leg spasticity, muscle contractions, and impaired trunk (torso) strength, Sharon can no longer wear pants or tights. Instead, I’ve modified off-the-rack dresses and tops, making them functional and stylish.
Finding a dress with a long full skirt in a soft knit material took me a while, but I eventually found two I could alter. I found a halter-style dress on another shopping trip, so Sharon has three dresses in rotation. In the end, the halter dress was the winner in terms of ease of dress, so I’ll look for more at some point. The dresses I bought were on the clearance rack at the end of the season.
Mike took photos of me showing off the altered dresses.
I changed the neckline of the two knit dresses by adding soft elastic to the dress straps. I cut the back of the skirt from hem to waist, then overlocked the exposed opening. The new opening in the back of the skirt allows the dress to drape over the legs and hips for modesty, removing any bulk or discomfort created when sitting on a full dress.
The elastic at the neckline keeps the straps from slipping and gives her more control as she pulls the dress over her head.
The third dress had the requisite full skirt, so I cut it up the back from the hem to just below the waist. I removed the tie at the neck, created a new neckline, and added elastic.
Mike took photos of me showing off the altered dresses.
I altered five tops that Sharon bought online, cutting the center back and overlocking the edges. The button is decorative while adding some weight to the front of the garment, keeping the slippery fabric in place and creating an easy-to-use neck opening.
It would be nice to see the fashion industry put more effort into serving the millions of people living with a disability. Not all sizes are equal, and the industry eventually realized that and began offering petite clothing, plus-sized clothing, and even a few tall sizes for women like me. It’s time for industry leaders to recognize the need and to do market research geared towards people living with a disability and not just their caregivers.
An Update
Sharon works for the Veterans Administration or VA, processing a complex payroll of two hundred nurses twice a month. She’s a federal employee, a union member, and a remote worker since 2020.
The Department of Personnel Management issued directives requiring all federal employees to return to in-person work by May. One thousand four hundred employees were dismissed, with more likely to follow. All employees must send a weekly email describing five things they did that week as if they were children in grade school. Further insults to employees at large forbid displaying the Pride flag in any capacity, further clarified as no flag, flag pin, Pride flag on a poster or any other image. The fear, angst, and betrayal among federal employees throughout the country are palpable.
There is something about a new year that feels fresh and full of promise, with planned and unplanned opportunities sprinkled with hope and optimism. I acknowledge the privilege that allows me to write that sentence, and if I could be queen for a day, I would wrap the world in a warm blanket with a nice cup of tea.
This year, I plan to spend more time crafting, gardening, working with organizing clients and traveling. It would be nice to worry less, but it’s an unrealistic goal unless I can fit in a months-long Buddhist retreat, which leads me back to more crafting and gardening.
I revamped my crafting area, tweaked it, and then tweaked it again. Our home office/den was the family hub when the boys were young. It’s furnished with long-in-the-tooth IKEA desks and overhead cabinets. I removed the closet doors years ago and created additional space with shelves and a work surface instead of space for hanging clothes.
After a year of inhabiting the two desks the boys once used, I realized I preferred my curved desk and not the two long desks side by side. It also put me closer to the converted closet, so now everything is within arm’s reach, and I can look out the window when I craft.
The side-by-side desks hold our printer and supplies, Mike’s flight simulator, and the assorted detritus that lands on one’s desk. It feels good to have settled on the space, and while it’s often messy, it’s also easy to clean up.
Most of my crafting is paper-related these days. I used to sew, knit, and create scrapbooks, but card-making is an excellent way to relax, and the results are fun to share with friends.
At the end of each season, I gather my scraps and create small crafting kits to put next to our children’s Little Free Library or participate in Kate’s ScrapHappy challenge. That’s good fun, too. Yesterday, I helped my sister organize her crafting area and came home with stickers for more crafting kits. We recalled how, as girls, we loved stickers, so it’s fun to imagine another boy or girl having fun with them. Here we are in a Walgreen’s photo booth, circa 1970 and again about twenty years later.
On the gardening front, the off-season sunflowers continue to grow. It’s so unexpected. I had Mike snap some pics for height comparison, and then he steadied the footstool so I could see if a flower opened. As a bonus, we spotted a ladybug, a brilliant standout against the green foliage. A friend gave me another cyclamen as a new-year’s gift so its featured in the gallery as well.
We’re dreaming about our next travel adventure. Closer to home, we drove to Lexington Reservoir on the first day of the year and enjoyed the sunshine reflecting on the water, the scent of California oak and redwood trees, and simply being out in nature.
I hope the start of your year has you feeling energized and ready to take on the day.
Earlier this year, while recovering from foot surgery, I spent some couch time sorting postage stamps. When my sister, Sharon, moved to her new condo, she asked if I would make her a vintage postage stamp table like mine. We’d both had one of my father’s stamp albums on the shelf for years. It was an emotional journey from album to table, but a healthy one. It was time we pulled our grief off the shelf and brought Dad’s gorgeous collection into the light of day.
A page from Dad’s vintage postage stamp album
As project planning goes, 2020 was a strange year. Just as I started to literally get on my feet, we entered a three-week lockdown. Casual trips to the hardware store became a thing of the past. When we eventually made it there, I waited in a long line, just to order a small quart of paint. Once home, the simple act of painting the circular wooden top alluded me. Mike eventually offered to paint it for me, and from there, I found some momentum.
I had hoped for more of a royal purple but I settled. Most of it will be covered anyway.
When I made my own table-top back in 2015 I had the benefit of four triangle-shaped stamps to use as a center. From there I worked my way outward, placing stamps in rainbow order and using multi-colored postage for the border.
Lacking any triangle-shaped stamps for Sharon’s table, I had to come up with a different approach. I sorted through dozens of stamps and eventually came up with this:
The red stamp is marked Nov, Sharon’s birth month. The next two stamps are 50c and 9c (Sharon’s 59th year), and the stamp below that is from Canada (our birthplace), and the year I made the table (2020).
The table’s center
I sorted the postage by color, setting aside the multi-colored stamps to use along the border. I divided the painted top into pie-shaped sections and filled each one with one color, moving from the center outward. I really enjoyed seeing it take shape.
Tabletop divided into sectionsEach section filled with a single colorCenter of table with rainbow of colorsRed vintage postage stampsA mixture of reds, oranges and brownsGreen vintage postage stampsBlue vintage postage stampsPurple vintage postage stampsFinished table
I adhered the stamps as I moved from the center outward using Mod Podge decoupage glue. It’s easy to apply and it acts as both a glue and a varnish. I continued to build up layers of the water-resistant finish over several days, smoothing out any bubbles and allowing it to dry.
In the interim, I assembled this flat-pack black table purchased online. I originally planned on scouring some thrift stores for a table to use as a base, but it was a good alternative since that was out of the question. Mike helped me attach the postage stamp tabletop to the black table’s underside using wood screws.
The table sits between Sharon’s two velvet chairs. A slightly taller table would have been nice, but the colors are perfect. We’re both happy with the final result.
Vintage postage side table (sticky tape on chairs to discourage kitty)
Check out what these artists are doing with vintage postage:
Donna Boss creates gorgeous cards using vintage stamp art.
Philatelic fans, please note. These stamps are sentimental and are of no inherent value. I understand that for some of you, this amounts to destroying a piece of history. For us, it’s a way of valuing our father’s legacy and a way to celebrate and honor his beloved hobby. We were 8 and 9, respectively, when Dad died. These tables mean the world to us.
I have another project in the works for my sister Sharon.
I’m using my surgery recovery time to carefully remove hundreds of postage stamps from one of our dad’s stamp collections. When I’m fully mobile again, I’ll move on to phase two: a stamp-covered table.
Antigua Half Penny Postage Stamp 1916-18
Our dad had many hobbies, but the one we remember the most is stamp-collecting. Mom kept his albums for years after he died. She eventually sold a few and gave each of us the money toward college. It wasn’t much, but it was important for her to turn his collection into something more tangible for our future. Thankfully she hung on to a few albums.
Ascension Postage and Revenue 1935
Dad died when we were 8 and 9 respectively, a short time after immigrating to the United States. Dad started life in Oldham, England, moved to India, twice, immigrated to Canada where he met our mother, and then ended life in California at the age of 54 from lung cancer.
His albums took on a certain status. They were our connection to our beloved father. I don’t remember looking at them individually, but more as a collection and a representation of what to us seemed like an exotic life.
Ceylon Postage and Revenue, over-stamped with War Stamp
Multi-colored India Postage embossed/stamped with Chamba State, 1907
I wrote about the emotions around his stamps back in March of 2015. Here is an excerpt:
Last August, on the anniversary of my father’s death, I was finally able to re-frame my feelings about his stamp collection. I once viewed his stamp albums as life interrupted. They reminded me of my loss instead of the joyful hours he spent pursuing this hobby. The stamp albums sat in a cupboard, revered. Now I see them as a gift to be shared, and as a way to celebrate my father’s kind and curious nature. I hosted a blog giveaway and sent many of Dad’s stamps to friends and acquaintances around the world. It was an extraordinary exercise in letting go. If you would like to read the post in its entirety, you’ll find it here: Vintage Postage: A Daughter’s Love Letter and a Blogging Giveaway.
Five years ago I made a round accent table using postage from my album. I created a few cards using his stamps, and then mailed extras to bloggers around the world. Pauline King turned several of them into a wonderful piece of art. It’s a treasure!
Sharon loves my table and asked if I would make one for her using stamps from her album. So here we are.
I’ve removed about 400 stamps so far, each meticulously mounted in the album with gummed labels. If those stamps could talk. I’m sorting by color as I go, with a special pile of multi-colored stamps that I plan to use along the table’s border. I’m thinking a lot about my dad as I go and about my sister too. We’re both excited about the table.
Here are a few more pages from his album.
India Special Issue China Expeditionary Force or C.E.F., 1882 to 1900
Here is a gallery of Pauline King’s art made incorporating some of Dad’s stamps, along with my postage stamp table, and a few greeting cards.
Alys in Wonderland: Art by Pauline King, The Contented Crafter
Mixed Media art using postage stamps by Pauline King
For years I’ve seen ads like this in the back of magazines. You send in a pile of t-shirts and they come back to you as a quilt. A few of my clients have mentioned the idea to me as well but I don’t know anyone who followed through.
Though I love to sew, I’ve never learned to quilt. I lack the patience, but love the idea and the finished results. The idea of making sentimental clothing into a functioning quilt however, intrigued me. In the ‘old days’ most discarded clothing saw a new life as a quilt. Nothing went to waste.
So after helping my sister clean out some drawers, we decided to turn her small pile of keepsake t-shirts into a sentimental quilt.
Sharon worked on this ad campaign at The Mercury News
Campus Quilts has the ordering process down to a science. I made a deposit online, then ordered a package with directions. They send you a large waterproof envelope for mailing your shirts, along with assorted fabric swatches and a detailed order form. You let them know what order to place your shirts, what kind of backing you want and if you want strips of fabric between each shirt. We opted for the strips and it turned out nicely.
Four shirts, including one with a button placket
The dark fabric frames each panel. There are two styles of machine quilting and even an option to add photo panels or an embroidered name.
Closeup of purple flannel backing and machine stitches
Our design is a simple one, but turned out even better than we imagined. Sharon chose her favorite color for the back of the quilt and black for the framing.
We’re tickled pink.
The quilt is big and cozy
The boys were nice enough to hold up the quilt for the photo, but asked to remain incognito
The Shirts:
Top row, San Jose Mercury News and a pair of wildlife t-shirts
2nd row, A gift from Mike, work shirts from Zazzle and Pindar (no she never went to prison)
3rd row, More shirts from Pindar
4th row, Shirts from the Spartan Daily, San Jose State University
Gardening Nirvana 