Garden Guffaw: Plotting Tomatoes

Heirloom Tomato Seeds

Heirloom Tomato Seeds

I walked the garden with my husband this morning as we made summer plans. We’re enjoying a warm, sunny day with highs climbing into the seventies. I wish you could be here along with me, especially those of you snowed in.

In order to maximize the planting boxes, we’ve agreed on a place to relocate the raspberry vines. I’m always angling for more planting space out back, so I’m pretty excited.

This year I’m planting all of my tomatoes in the City Pickers.  They worked great last year. The ability to move them around as other garden plants grow larger is a boon.  It feels great putting a plan in place.

My sister sent me the following funny story a few years ago, about planting tomatoes. It always makes me smile. I don’t know the origins, so I’ll extend thanks to the universe and the anonymous writer of this tongue in cheek tale. Enjoy!

Plotting Tomatoes:

An older gentleman living alone in New Jersey looked forward to planting his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work. The ground was simply too hard. His only son Vincent would usually help him but he was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son describing his predicament.

Dear Vincent,

It looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig it for me, like in the old days. I’m feeling a little sad. I hope you are well.

Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

I hope you’re smiling, too.

Growing Tomatoes

Growing Tomatoes

Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes. ~Author Unknown

9 thoughts on “Garden Guffaw: Plotting Tomatoes

  1. The tears are still running down my cheeks as I type this. It’s hard to type as the laptop keeps slidding off my lap as I laugh until I can’t breathe. If there anyone in my bed other than my books they will hear me still laughing in my sleep. Good one. Thanks for sharing.


  2. Awwww, a walk thru your garden with your sweetheart, you guys are so cute. Jim’s mom used to have a ton of raspberry bushes, taller than me and so prickly, but we’d sure got a ton of fruit. I’ve never seen them on a vine though.

    What a cute story, I really laughed and had to read it to Jim. Vinnie was thinking outside of the box on that one LOL. Did your giant tomato vines from last year finally pack it in after the frost? Will you start new ones from seed Alys? I used to buy one at the garden store I worked at, they were already started and really pretty big already. A lot of people do it that way because our growing season is so short.


  3. Funny story Alys! I’ll stick to my grow bags 🙂
    I was looking at some black tinged and purple tomatoes in the seed catalogue today but I’m not sure if I could eat them. I know they’s taste delicious but my silly brain just kept saying no!!!


    • It can be quite a challenge eating something that your brain says is the “wrong” color. I saw a spread of food once that had been died odd colors. It lost all its appeal.

      I don’t know if I would choose them, but now that I have them as a gift, I’m very excited to give them a try. I’ll let you know.

      Sticking with grow bags, eh? Smart woman. (tee-hee)


    • It’s similar to an earth box, an all in one system for growing vegetables. It’s a box on wheels, with a tall plastic pipe for irrigation. The bottom of the box has a perforated “grate” for drainage. You add soil and amendments in a specific order, plant seeds are starter plants, then cover with the included “plastic mulch” really a garbage bag styled cover with elastic and clips to hold it in place. The idea is that once planted, you simply water through the irrigation tube as needed. We had six healthy tomato plants in one box last summer. I’m sold!

      They’re great for small patios or decks. I liked, too, that I could move it into the sun. I’ll find the link.


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