by

Just Call Me Grace

sharon's way rampThe good news: I’m fine.

The embarrassing news: I took a dive on the sidewalk this weekend. Human error. It almost always is.

I was heading down the ramp on my knee scooter, moving from the deck to the sidewalk. I was planning to sit in the sun while my husband hung lights on the house. As Mike backed out the car, I slowly headed down the ramp, hand breaks fully applied. That scooter can really pick up momentum on an incline.

Just as I reached the curb, the front wheel of the scooter made a small detour. The wheel found it’s way into the corner of my freshly tilled garden. Gravity took over from there.

Every cliché applied.

I knew I was going down.

Time slowed to a crawl.

My brain screamed, “Protect your foot!”

As the scooter stopped to re-calibrate in that freshly tilled hole, momentum carried me forward. I felt myself sliding over the top of the handles.

All sorts of awful things could have happened.

None of them did.

I landed in front of the curb garden bed, managing to drag part of the scooter with me. My injured foot flipped up in the air, but escaped further damage. I rolled on my back, stunned and scared, newly bruised and feeling utterly ridiculous.

Mike got out of the car, found me lying on the sidewalk, and said “What have you done now?” before helping me up. He doesn’t rattle easily. He brushed the leaves out of my hair and helped me back into the house.

Five days later, I have a sore neck, a bruised shin and a renewed respect for gravity.

I know it could have been so much worse.

Now it’s your turn. Surely you’ve made a fool of yourself at some point in your life. Do you have a juicy morsel to share?

41 thoughts on “Just Call Me Grace”

  1. Many years ago, I borrowed my sisters pants for work. I had gained a little weight, so the pants were a snug fit, but I couldn’t find any clean pants to wear so went with it. I was working in the boys wear of a large department store. There was another clerk who was troubled, (which I learned later) that set fire to a jacket in my department. I saw it from the corner of my eye, but it was in the distance. I bent down to take a better look, and my pants split. What to do, what to do! I was faced with running over to the jacket and stomping it out or staying put with my split pants hoping that someone else would see it. I ended up rushing over, throwing the jacket on the floor, and stamping it out before the whole department went up in smoke. Then I went over to the closest store phone, which connects you to the P.A. system and used the code word “Mr. Red to boys wear”, hoping that when someone got there, I would be upright, and facing them, not having my back to them since there was still the issue of my pants! The manager thanked me for my quick response, and responsible actions. I blushed, and went on break where I took my jacket, wrapped the arms around my waist, and walked home to change. I learned how important it was to have clean, well fitting clothes for work!!

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    • Darlene, that is quite a story. I can picture it so clearly too, having worked in retail myself. I’m glad your instincts to put out the fire won the day, but my what a story. Thanks so much for sharing. I think you should start a blog.

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  2. I hope there weren’t too many witnesses Alys. Thank goodness you didn’t do any more serious damage! I can’t remember an embarrassing fall, but I did take a tumble in my rockery a couple of years ago, while trying to get a photo…. my brain screamed ‘Protect the camera!’, and luckily it was not damaged at all. 😉 (I had quite a few cuts and bruises though!) Take care Alys.

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  4. I think I’m grateful for a bad memory right now. I know I’ve done something like that but for the life of me, can’t remember it. But goodness sake, whiplash from a scooter? Does that qualify for a work related injury? Can you sue the scooter company? :)) You are very lucky and darn it all, you were being so careful too. When I saw the title, I knew something was amiss. Giant healing hugs.

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    • Marlene, I have been so careful. That’s what gets me. I will be glad to be walking on two feet someday soon. Meanwhile, I do my painful but necessary exercises, so that when the day comes, I’m strong and ready.

      Hurrah for bad memories. They can come in handy. 😉

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  5. Whilst grimacing and graunching with empathy – there was I admit also a small wry chuckle….. I cannot tell you how many times I have been busy going along minding my own business only to suddenly find myself upside down…….. It’s a talent xoxo

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    • Oh good grief, Pauline, I’ve just burst out laughing. You have such a way with words. Part of why Mike was less alarmed is that this isn’t the first, third or…you know last time he’s found me in this predicament. I’m always worried about him falling off a ladder or getting into an accident, when I really should be minding my own P’s and Qs.

      Thanks for making me laugh, and for feeling less alone in this predicament.

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  6. I was running to catch a tram one evening. The tram had stopped for me, and therefore the cars had to wait too. So I had a big audience for the tumble I took in the middle of the road! I can still remember the slow motion of the road coming towards me. I’d like to think that I got up and took a bow, but I probably sheepishly scuttled onto the tram 🙂

    Sorry to hear about your tumble, but so pleased that your leg was saved. ~Hugs~

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    • Oh Anne! The worst. What’s funny I think in a lot of these stories, is that while we feel foolish or silly, those that witness a tumble probably feel one of two things: Oh my goodness, I hope they’re ok or Oh my goodness, that’s happened to me, too. Glad you recovered and caught the tram. Thanks for sharing your story.

      Hugs right back your way.

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  7. Sounds a nasty bump. I imagine the knee scooter is difficult to manoeuvre, especially over curbs.
    I hope you are over the fall now?

    I’ve fallen over a few times for no apparent reason. Or on wet leaves. The funniest situation does not include a fall but anyone watching would have wondered what I was doing. I was working in France and had a Saturday morning class, so had to set off at a time when most Nanciens would just be surfacing. One of the staff at the hostel where I lived warned me as I left the building but nothing could prepare me for the black ice!

    I had to walk to work by gingerly stepping on the non-iced slither of pavement up against the buildings. Otherwise, I crawled on hands and knees. I must have been an interesting sight 😉

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    • Helen, I am over the fall, thank you, and back to recovering from the surgery. It will be a moth tomorrow, though it feels so much longer.

      That is quite the story of you making your way through the black iced sidewalks to your class/place of work. On hands and knees no less. I hope you had on a good pair of mittens or gloves. I’ve slipped on ice once or twice, but both times recovered. It’s rare here in California. Thank goodness, as I would probably be on my bottom all the time.

      How long did you live in France? And I’m off to look up the word Nanciens.

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      • Nanciens is the people who live in Nancy, France 🙂

        Fortunately, black ice like that is a rarity here (and presumably in Northern France, where Nancy is). Last we had it, one day a couple of years ago it was gone by about 10 am. That is, daytime temperatures are generally high enough to blitz it once the sun comes up!

        Anyway, glad you feel you are on the mend.

        Funny how the memory works, isn’t it? I hadn’t though of that unusual ‘walk’ to work until prompted by your post…. I was in France that time for a year, part of it in Nancy and then in Marseilles.

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  8. My sister, who worked at an office building on the corner of Wilshire and Westwood Blvds. in West LA got back from lunch one day, and her boss said, “Uh, your dress is caught in back,” and then he skedaddled out of there. “Caught” indeed. To her horror, she found the entire back of her skirt tucked up into her pantyhose…and she had just walked across the busiest intersection in all of Los Angeles…during lunch hour.

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  9. My sister, who worked at an office building on the corner of Wilshire and Westwood Blvds. in West LA got back from lunch one day, and her boss said, “Uh, your dress is caught in back,” and then he skedaddled out of there. “Caught” indeed. To her horror, she found the entire back of her skirt tucked up into her pantyhose…and she had just walked across the busiest intersection in all of Los Angeles…during lunch hour.

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    • Oh the poor thing! That exact same thing happened to me in high school! Damn those pantyhose.

      I’m glad her boss could set aside his own embarrassment to alert her to the situation. I know she must have been mortified.

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  10. I once fainted in the middle of a funeral! The crematorium was packed when I arrived and there was standing room only at the back. Half way through the proceedings I started to feel woozy, but I couldn’t leave because it was so full. Apparently I just folded up. I came to in the arms of one of my former university lecturers!! A seat was rapidly found for me and I managed to remain conscious through the rest of the proceedings. Fortunately, none of the family noticed and it didn’t disrupt things.
    I thought it was Victorian ladies who went around swooning, but it turns out that independent 21st century women do it too… please pass the smelling salts!

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    • Oh you poor dear. There is nothing worse than feeling that loss of control. I’ve never fainted, but my sister has. It seems you’re up and than you’re not. I’m glad the people around you knew what to do and that the services continued uninterrupted.

      Great story. Thanks for sharing your experience

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    • Kerry, can you fashion a cute little skirt and jacket from that bubble wrap? I am in!

      Yes, lucky. And yesterday when I went down the now-wet ramp, Mike walked in front of me the whole way. It was nearly impossible to get traction. I’m sooooo ready to have both feet working again.

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  14. Oh no hon! Thank heavens you didn’t crank your head into anything on the way down. How scary to know you were falling after all your recovery so far. I’m glad to hear you’re alright. I don’t have to think back too far to share a calamity. This week has been especially wacky. Wednesday at work: I arrived to learn that rather than putting the ice in the deepfreeze section, it was put in the fridge (I think it was me), it half melted over everything, next I broke a wooden storage unit I was moving when it all let go from the handle I was holding, sending it crashing to the floor, then I decided to brew a latte and the milk frother overflowed, sending pools of warm milk running down the cupboards and under the microwave. I topped it all off by locking my car keys in my trunk last night. Jim came with extra keys. The good news, they’re very used to me crashing and smashing around. Yep, we were separated at birth, LOL xoxo have a sweet day (I’m back at work) xoxox k

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    • Oh my goodness you’ve had a long, hard week. I think you need a break. You’ve been burning the candle at both ends and I think they’ve officially met in the middle. I read your Kelly’s Korner on my phone last night and kept thinking over and over, oh my gosh the time and attention to detail.That alone must have taken hours and hours and hours. Throw in the hectic pace at work, the KKorner blog, the pages, the calendar, holiday prep and the work I know you put into maintaining your beautiful home, it is any wonder you locked your keys in the car. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt in any of those incidents.

      Separated at birth, but determined to live to be at least 100 without too many split skulls and broken bones. xoxoxo

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      • It does sound like a bit much when you mention it all together but honestly, I tend to set myself up. I could make my projects less detailed but then I get going and it’s a little of this, a little of that and next thing you know, it’s taking me longer and I get behind. Believe me, I’m not the only go getter, I’m just trying to keep up with the other gals. They set the bar pretty high. It’s a pretty small team so there’s always lot’s going on. You’re a dear to look after me hon, I’m my own worst enemy when time management is on the plate.xo k

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  15. I just typed a long response to you and it got lost. In addition, I lost my glasses and I have a hard time seeing on here this week. I am glad your fall didn’t end up worse. My most recent fall, I ended up with one broken ankle and one sprained ankle (not easy to do) so I know how bad it could have been. I can just see Mike saying that too! Stay upright and rest -hoping I can get you this present this week.

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    • Betsy, when did you injure your ankles? I’m sorry I didn’t know. I hope you can find your glasses. Are they truly lost, or just misplaced in the house? I try to keep my old pair as a back up in case that happens. Fortunately my prescription doesn’t really change year to year.

      Thanks for your well wishes.

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  17. Ouch. That sounds nasty. I hope you’re fully recovered very soon.
    And you’re not alone. I fell over like a toddler a few weeks ago on my way to collect the kids from school. Proper grazed knees and all. I am an idiot.

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