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The Necessary Goodbyes

My sister had her final visit with Queen B on Sunday. Her sweet kitty had been declining for some time, with last week’s visit to our vet confirming mild anemia, dilute urine, and cancer. Letting the kitty suffer was never an option, but facing those final decisions isn’t easy.

Initially, Sharon wanted to be with Queen B when she passed. It proved too much for her, so she asked me if I would be there and of course I said yes.

Queen B was humanely euthanized this morning at the Cat Hospital, our long-time vet. I kept a warm hand on her side as she slipped away, sobbing uncontrollably before I could pull myself together enough to leave the room. I wrapped her frail body in the warm, soft blanket they provided, knowing it no longer mattered but compelled to do so just the same.

Sharon has lost so much to the ravages of MS. Saying goodbye to Queen B has been another blow.

We will cherish the good memories, and our tears will dry, but for now, our hearts ache with the heavy sadness of seeing out this tiny cat’s gentle soul.

61 thoughts on “The Necessary Goodbyes”

  4. I am so sorry to read about the loss of Queen B and you and your sister’s sadness, Alys. We love and cherish these gentle souls, our pets, but they pass too soon for our hearts to bear. Take care of each other and all the time to heal you need from your heartbreak. 💔 😢 ❤️‍🩹 🙏🏼

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  6. Such a sad and difficult situation for your family. I shed a few tears also. I love your compilation of photos. RIP Queen B 🐝!

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  9. I am so sorry, Alys. Bless her furry little soul. You did a mitzvah ( good deed) by being with her showing her she was loved.You know how we feel in our house about our animals. They are family and give to us unconditionally.
    I always wonder why our pets have such short life spans in comparison to ours. The only thing I can think of is that it allows us to take care of more animals over our lifetimes.

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  14. Oh. Bless her. So good of you to see Queen B off on her final journey and I’m sure your sister felt better knowing that you were there with her. I have shed copious tears over so many pets – we’ve had a lot over the years – and it never gets any easier. We are lucky enough where we are now to have the vet do a home visit for euthanasia so it is less stressful for all concerned. Last June she came for our dog Stan and I fed him his last treat, told him he was a good boy and tried hard not to start crying until he’d gone in case it upset him. We owe it to them to be with them at the end don’t we, no matter how hard it is. Hugs to you and your sister.

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    • Thank you for the hugs, Lynn. I know you’ve loved many dogs and cats in your day; these painful goodbyes are inevitable. In-home euthanasia is catching on here, too. Our last two cats died peacefully at home without intervention. This is the first time in a long while I’ve had to face this. It never gets any easier. xo

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  15. Commenting through tears. Feeling and honoring each life’s love and the loss of that companion. My widowed sister tells me the love continues on. I believe her.

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  17. It’s so hard saying goodbye to these uncomplaining, loyal givers of endless love. To me, there’s no doubt they’re waiting for us somewhere beyond, sharing stories of what it was like with us in Their Time.

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  18. Oh, Alys, I’m deeply saddened by Queen B’s passing.  I’m so sorry for your painful loss, and my heart aches with yours, sharing your grief.  I am in mourning with you.  Sharon reached out to me the day before to let me know the decision to let Queen B go had been made, and that she had said her final goodbyes, holding her for the last time.  I’ve been thinking about the three of you ever since, tears flowing.  Thank you for caring for Queen B, and comforting her as she left this world.  I understand how hard it is to provide that final act of compassion.  True love compels us to bear great sorrow.  Yet, it is a relief to know that Queen B lived out the remainder of her life surrounded by love, and was given a peaceful passing.  Ultimately, that’s the best any of us can hope for. 

    Queen B was such a special kitty, the perfect companion to Sharon.  I feel fortunate to have played a part in her journey, bringing the two of them together, with your help.  And I’m grateful to both Sharon and you for the wonderful life filled with love that you gave to Queen B.   She was a very lucky kitty to be first rescued from the harsh streets by a Good Samaritan, and then land in my care, never again to experience the horrors she’d endured.

    I remember that fateful day: December 1, 2019, when, over dinner in Palo Alto, we discussed the notion of giving Beverly (as she was then known) to Sharon.  Two weeks later, I delivered Beverly into Sharon’s eager arms.   They bonded quickly, and Beverly’s new – and much improved – life began as Queen B.   Sharon and I commemorated that date every year, the unforgettable day that two lives were changed for good (to quote the most poignant song from “Wicked”).

    As the years passed, I was delighted to get regular updates from Sharon, and took great joy in seeing the adorable photos she sent, along with accounts of Queen B’s amusing antics and loving ways.   And I enjoyed reading your blog postings that included her.   Like the time you used one of your Scrap Happy events to make a nice lap blanket for Sharon and Queen B.    

    As life goes on, now with a Queen B-shaped void, I wish you and Sharon peace as you adjust.  She was a tiny creature who made a big impact.  I’ll cherish the memories of her gentle spirit, forever in our hearts.   

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    • Queen B has been the perfect companion for Sharon. She was also a great kitty ambassador, welcoming guests, sitting on laps, and endearing herself to all who met her.

      Thank you for taking her off the street and for bringing her half way up the state to do the hand off. Sharon loved her with a full heart.

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  19. I can’t even imagine all Sharon has been going through. This has to be extra hard for both of you. I was devastated when I had to put Gracie down and she was an abandoned stray. Give Sharon extra hugs. Life just keeps tossing those darn hard lemons. Hugs to you both.

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  20. Saying goodbye to pets is always awful but it must be particularly so for your sister – another loss in a long line of them. Sending hugs to both of you.

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  22. I’m sitting here with tears just reading your experience, Alys! I’m so deeply sorry for your sister to have to reach that decision, but also so thankful to know that you could both mourn this loss together. I understand the “necessary” part of the decision, and just feel the pangs of sadness that don’t make that “necessary” part any easier! 💔

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    • Debra, you do not need any more sadness in your world. Thank you for reading and for understanding the loss. Queen B was a little gem, the perfect kitty for Sharon with her easy-going nature and quiet demeanor.

      I think of you often and keep hoping we can connect in real time one day. Meanwhile, a gentle hug through the ether will have to suffice. xo

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      • Thank you so much, Alys. I am just certain we’ll find a way to visit in person. I think of you every time I’m in Oakland. Up until recently I just didn’t have the energy to “add” to my travels, but that is slowly becoming much less of a concern. I would enjoy it so much, so thank you. I’m sitting here with my cat enjoying his company, and it’s impossible for me not to feel some sadness for Sharon. As our lives take different turns, these sweet pets can really be stabilizing. ❤️

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        • I completley understand how draining social encounters can be when you feel like your getting by on reserves. No pressure. If it’s meant to be it will be.

          Our cats have always played a central role in our enjoyment of life. They’re pampered and loved and mourned when they go. Sending love your way. ❤️

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  23. Parting with a beloved kitty is never easy, no matter what the reason. I grieve with you. I am glad you could help your sister through the loss of Queen B. Much love to you, Sharon and Queen B. The kitty had a wonderful home. She left this world knowing she was loved and wanted, which is more than many get in this life.

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  24. It’s an awful decision to have to make, even when you know it’s for the best, pets are so much part of our family. So glad you could be there with Queen Bee at the end as I feel it is so important. Hugs for your sister x

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  25. So sorry for you and your sister Alys. I feel for you both. We lost our darling Anouk just three weeks ago and are still struggling to readjust. Hugs. 🤗

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