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Getting Things Done

I’ve been a woman on a mission for several months, clearing out our side yard, updating photo albums, and disposing of unwanted items in our garage and home.

It’s not difficult for me to let things go. I’m sentimental about letters and photographs, but not much else. That said, a few items require negotiations when married and with two sons.

Now that both of my young men have graduated from university and moved into their own space, it’s been a good time to assess. My younger son hung on to wires, cables, electronics, defunct phones, etc., which I knew would never again see the light of day. He willingly went through it on his last visit home, and just like that, 95% went to an e-waste location with just a few treasures remaining. My husband, Mike, is also a “cable guy,” so that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We also sorted my son’s backpacking and camping gear and donated a bag of things he’s outgrown. It feels good.

I relocated several of the photos he took in high school from the hallway into his room and had one series of pictures framed and hung over the bed. The photo series spells out SLEEP. Now, I can frame his diploma and graduation photo and put it next to his brother’s in the hallway.

The messiest job involved clearing out the side yard. Since we don’t have a basement or a usable attic, we use this side yard for storage. I have a RubberMade storage container that fits the width of the area, and we’re using it for off-season items.

I consolidated two bins and made room for both in the shed. I passed on two small patio tables and a few planter boxes to a gardening friend, and the remaining items were recycled or tossed. After years of working as a professional organizer, I’ve found ways to dispose of most things responsibly. While I’m happy to give something away, I’m not crazy about adding to the landfill.

Our water tanks also line the side of the house. I hung a piece of upholstery fabric behind a trellis, so this area is camouflaged when we sit on the garden swing.

Next up, the garage. Now that paint stores can color match from a small swatch; it’s no longer necessary to keep back-up paint. Further, I’ve learned from experience that the paint on the walls fades, so touching up a scratch only works for about a year after painting.

Benjamin Moore Paint sells tiny containers in all colors and sheens, about the size of a spice jar so that you can try a small sample with far less waste. I took eight gallons of half-used paint to a local PaintCare site, making room on a lower, more accessible shelf for other items.

With a nod to Swedish death cleaning, I unpacked four small cedar boxes with the cremains of beloved but long-deceased cats. The boxes were difficult to open, part of why I didn’t deal with them in the past, and the accompanying emotions. It didn’t feel right leaving them in a cupboard for my sons to deal with after we’re gone.

Slinky

One by one, I scattered the cremains of Slinky, Grant, Collar-Collar, and Fluffy on different days and in various areas of the garden.

It’s been an emotional journey but a cleansing one and a gift to myself and the ones I love.

29 thoughts on “Getting Things Done”

  1. I love reading posts like this, it really motivates me! I do donate lots of stuff, but then I find great bargains at an auction or something. At least I have new clutter, not the same old stuff!
    But I have gotten more serious about it this year, I am finishing up quilts from long ago, and I have decided that I will stick to embroidery and quilting, and donate everything knitting- and crocheting-related. :)

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    • Thank you! That is so nice to hear. I applaud your decision to refocus your interests on a few hobbies. Reducing excess is good for the soul and I like to think of the happy recipient on the other end of the equation as well.

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  3. We had a large attic, barn, and basement before we made a cross country move about eighteen years ago to a downsized residence. I went through everything with my daughter and was amazed that all those ‘treasures’ I had kept along the years because I just knew she wanted were not of interest in the least to her. :-) Since then, I look at something or check with her and then it’s out of here. Not that I couldn’t still get rid of a lot of stuff, but I now look at something and think do I want her to have to deal with it.

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    • That’s great to hear, Judy. We often attach sentiments to things based on our own perceptions. I was shocked at how much my boys cleared out once they hit high school, and at the same time, glad that I had instilled the ability to let things go.

      I’ve also seen the needs of others, having volunteered at numerous non-profits over the years. I like to get things out and into the community whenever I can, knowing what a difference it can make to someone else.

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  4. Excellent post Alys. Terry is the organizer in our marriage and I’m the hoarder LOL. Well hoarder might be a little harsh but I find that as soon as I get rid of something that I have kept for years (like a spare part for a computer) I end up saying to Terry “remember that part I disposed of yesterday ? Well I could have used it today” 😃

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    • Thank you, Joe. I know a lot of techies find it hard to part with electronics. One way to reduce the supply is to sort like with like. When I do that exercise with Mike, he often realizes that he has parts that are obsolete, or multiples of things he didn’t realize he had. He’s a DIY guy, and he has a work bench in the garage with lots to tools and parts. Now that it’s organized its easier to find things, though that still doesn’t mean small packages don’t arrive in the mail from E-bay. LOL

      We are all a work in progress, eh?

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  5. This is a good post for me to read. I’m still having issues with letting go even though I’ve had to half size already. This place is less than half the space I had before. There is still too much clutter and it’s disturbing. I tried to move a tub of fabric last week and found it too heavy so once opened, I took out half and donated it to the quilt guild for their veterans projects. The cleaner that was coming each week spurred my need to let go of more. I’ve let the quilt guild friend know that there will be much more.

    I think the hardest thing would have been the ashes. I had made the lovely memory garden behind my place in Oregon and finally left my Schatzie’s ashes up on the hill under a lilac bush. I wish now, that I had brought them back here with me and taken them up to her first home. But so it is. Never thought I’d be back here. You’ve done well with your changes for the changing times.

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    • I understand how overwhelming it can be when you have more stuff than you have space. One thought is to take a different approach. Instead of thinking: I should get rid of stuff, carefully go through things (like your fabric) and decide what to keep based on projects. For instance, perhaps you only keep quilting fabric, but donate wool or corduroy or prints you once liked but are no longer to your taste. You will be amazed at how well that approach can work. I would also suggest either smaller bins, or filling the ones you have with half the fabric so that they are not so unwieldy.

      I’m sorry you have some regrets about Schatzie’s ashes. You loved your time in Oregon and that pretty garden, so perhaps you can reframe the loss as something positive. I’m certain Schatzie loves resting under the lilac. xo

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      • I’ve already rid myself of anything but quilting fabric. Now, if something new catches my eye, twice that has to go. Also sticking to simpler projects and finishing projects or passing them on. I’ve found an outlet for much of the older things that some charity groups will make to raise money. I know Schatzie isn’t in Oregon and wouldn’t be here either so most of the time, I’m ok with it. I just miss her a lot. I’m listening to your voice as I go through and clear out. You help me a lot.

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    • Thank you, Eliza. Do you know about the 15 minute rule? Its worked a charm with my clients and my sons. When facing a daunting task, set a timer for 15 minutes. Let’s say you want to tackle a set of books on the shelf or a box of old documents. You set a time when you have good energy (for some that’s early morning and for others it could be midnight). Decide on your task, then set a timer for 15 minutes. Then focus 100% on that single task until the timer goes off. One of two things will happen. You’ll be drained, so you’ll know it’s time to stop for the day OR you’ll be pleased with your progress and ready to continue. If so, then set the timer for another 15 minutes. You’ll be amazed at how well this works.

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  8. I’ve just finished (a few more thngs could be looked at) a major tidy up and now I’m looking at a better set up. This morning I was looking at summer duds (I’m in NZ) and some items went straight to the op/thift bags…particularly some items I knew I can fit into now! I also tackled the back room closet and gifted away an oil heater and some craft items I know I’ll not use. Plus finally I wrapped up a very nice teapot that also I know won’t be used, it’s in the op/thrift dept.

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  9. I’m still struggling with the decluttering and, although Mr. Tialys moans about it, the garage (his domain) is even worse. I’m going to try your 15minute method as mentioned in your response to Eliza.
    The ashes are tricky. We buried two of our dogs in France – we had the land for it there – and scattered the ashes of two cats. Obviously we couldn’t bring them with us but I really feel that our pets live in our hearts and memories, not in their remains so I’ve made my peace with that.
    Love the ‘Sleep’ photographs and also the large one of Tessa.

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    • I agree, Lynn, that the memories live on in our hearts. When our cat Lindy died earlier this year (she was almost 21!) I arranged through the vet for cremation, but asked that the ashes not be returned.

      Thanks for your kind words on the photos. I will pass it on.

      Here are a couple of other tips for decluttering:

      One of my favorite quotes is that clutter is a series of unmade decisions. Having a process for items that make it into the house, be it mail, wanted or unwanted, magazines, “one day/some day” projects, etc. really helps.

      With magazines, for instance, you can put a time limit on them. If you haven’t looked at them for three months, chances are you won’t. OR if you are keeping a magazine for a pattern, a recipe, or the like, take a photo, create a folder on your laptop or phone, and let it go.

      Having a designated place for things sounds obvious, but sometimes we forget to create locations for less obvious things. You could place his and her baskets for mail side by side, and both agree to handle the mail at least once a week. Keep a recycle basket nearby and immediately toss the junk.

      Ask Mr. Tialys what his top three annoyances are. This of course frees you to ask him the same. Sometimes couples agree to keep common areas tidy, but let each others personal space go, as long as you don’t end up encroaching on each other’s space.

      Please ask more questions as you go. I love organizing, and have done it for a living for 14 years.

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  10. Wow you have been getting things done!!! Like Done with a capital D :-)
    That is awesome what you did with the framed photos and I’ve noticed males tend to hold onto cords! John and I had a bit of negotiation and he finally let a bunch of old computer stuff and various cords and electronic go – yay!
    I love the concept of Swedish Death Cleaning and I think thinking about people having to deal with our stuff when we eventually pass is very sobering and helps us reevaluate what we really need to keep as we are not going to be able to take it in our next stage of existence :-)

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    • As a professional organizer, I’ve emptied many homes after the homeowner has died. Some were extreme and heartbreaking. Many years ago a friend required two massive dumpsters to clear our her dad’s home. At some point he just stopped getting rid of things, fixing things, or even replacing them. It’s heartbreaking to see someone live like that, but the emotions around it are complex.

      I’m smiling at the negations you had with John, as I’ve done so with Mike many times. He’s always reluctant to do it, but it’s amazing what he gets rid of when we do. I mean how many power supplies does one need?

      It always feels good to clear out the clutter. It means you can pass on useful items, dispose of the junk, and then enjoy what’s left.

      Thanks for your nice comment, Tierney.

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  11. I am afraid we have the luxury of both a cellar and attic space to hoard stuff we ‘might need one day’. 🤪 My parents do it too. Goodness knows what we will find in their attic one day! Well done for clearing up. It is refreshing I am sure, both physically and emotionally.

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  12. Hats off to all the completed projects. I’m sure sprinkling the ashes of your pets was hard. I’m adding our pet ashes to my own. Leaving half for Jim (or vice versa, depending on lifes outcomes) These are the things that we have to consider as we get older, time flies.

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