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Punny Garden: Garden Jokes and Puns

Plastic Surgery Gone Bad

I found a gardening pun on Twitter today and thought it would be fun to share. I’ve compiled a few more, and welcome any additional puns or quips in the comments section below. Here’s hoping they tickle your green thumb.

A Nod to Theater:

Compostaphile and Compostaphobe — To rot or not to rot . . . David Hobson’s Garden Humour

“I should love to perform “There Are Fairies in the Bottom of My Garden” (Bea Lillie’s signature song), but I don’t dare. It might come out “There Are Fairies in the Garden of My Bottom.” – Noel Coward from Musicals101

One-liners:

What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming. The Deep Middle

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi. Organic Universe

My wife’s a water sign. I’m an earth sign. Together we make mud.  – Rodney Dangerfield from Garden Digest

Puns:

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology. Twitter

My wife works over-thyme in her herb garden before she decides it is time to cummin.
Don’t expect a bonsai tree to grow the miniature planting it.
I will cut the grass only when I get mowtivated.
The research assistant couldn’t experiment with plants because he hadn’t botany.
Old gardeners never die they just vegetate.
Gardeners like to plant their feet firmly.
If you’re a gardener you might call yourself a ‘plant manager’.
from David Hobson’s Garden

The real meaning of plant catalog terminology:

“A favorite of birds” means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clothes lines.
“Grows more beautiful each year” means “Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.”
“Zone 5 with protection” is a variation on the phrase “Russian roulette.”
“May require support” means your daughter’s engineering degree will finally pay off.
“Moisture-loving” plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.
“Carefree” refers more to the plant’s attitude than to your workload.
“Vigorous” is code for “has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world.”
“Grandma’s Favorite” — until she discovered free-flowering, disease-resistant hybrids.  Garden Digest

18 thoughts on “Punny Garden: Garden Jokes and Puns”

  3. Pingback: Punny Garden: The Sequel | gardeningnirvana

  4. Whew, that was a trip and a half…..look at you up there with a nose cone….HA! I guess I was probably in Maui when you penned this one. Seems like a long time ago, does it for you too? Rodney Dangerfields quip made me giggle….Jim and I are both water signs so we’re just floating along..HA. ‘The real meaning of plant catalogue terms’ was so fun too, especially Grows more beautiful each year’….Road killl! LOL

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        • I must have been half a sleep when I wrote that. They’re early June which makes them Gemini. Three years, two weeks apart. They each have their own celebration. They like to celebrate in very unique ways, so we usually have one small, quiet gathering for my oldest son, and something more active for M. It all works out and they feel special. My Mom combined my party with Sharon one year (we’re 13 months apart) and I was bitter about it. So…they each get there own. 🙂

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  5. Hello Alys! I’m glad you followed Boomdee over to my blog – this is such fun! I’m not surprised it is your most popular post – but having said that I realise I haven’t looked at anything else yet….. Pleased you explained about your boys birthdays – I was picturing an awfully long labour to produce those twins!! I’m off to have a look around over second coffee….

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  8. Oh my word, how did I miss this post? I love it and it’s a great way to start a Saturday. I guess I was meant to have a good giggle today. I saw it in your sidebar I think. Goodness gracious! I love the nose and Pauline’s take on the close birthdays.

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